


Who Gets The Friends?

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-10-11
Updated: 2007-10-11
Packaged: 2019-05-31 07:40:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15114806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: "Because most likely whatever happened will be your fault."





	Who Gets The Friends?

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

“I get Jed.”

“That pretty much goes without saying. It’s alright, because I get Abbey.”

“Definitely. As if she needs more of a reason to dislike me.”

“Stop it, she loves you. You two just…I don’t know. She would still pick me.”

“Oh yeah. What about Toby? I think I would get him.”

“Me too.” CJ said. “Little baldheaded traitor. You would need him though to keep you company.”

“Hours of chess, tennis, and crossword puzzles until I die of boredom.”

CJ laughed, dipping her last pretzel into a small bowl of sweet mustard on the nightstand.

“OK, so I’d get Toby…cool.”

“So what? I get Nora and Donna.”

“Cliff would side with me.” Leo replied. “Quietly, so as not to call attention to himself.”

“You can have him.”

“Admit it, you like Cliff.”

“Please.”

“You do, I see you smiling at him sometimes.”

“I can admit that. Smiling is my nature; I am a sweet girl.”

“Yeah, you are. Cliff’s still gonna side with me.”

“Keep him. He probably likes me better but wants your like more.”

“Nice. You can be such a…”

“Shut up.” She poked his arm. “So…Sam?”

“I don’t know. He is so Swiss.”

“I know. He would comfort both of us, do the chicken soup for the soul thing.”

“Everybody needs a friend like that. So we’ll both keep him.”

“Sounds good to me. Tish will side with me but it won't be a point of contention because they love each other too much.”

CJ sipped her beer as Leo contemplated his Diet Vanilla Coke.

“Josh, Josh, Josh.” He said.

“He’s yours.”

“You're giving him up that easily? I'm gonna tell him.”

“No. He’s sorta like Sam, except he is going to involve himself.” CJ said.

“How so?”

“He will report to us what the other is doing. He will somehow sabotage every date I try to go on. Probably with Toby’s help and a very reluctant Sam.”

“How long before I date?” Leo asked.

“You don’t date.”

“Why not?”

“Because you are going to be too distraught over my leaving.” She replied.

“OK, I’ll buy that. How long before I get into a distracting sexual relationship?”

“Three months.”

“That works.”

“Hogan will be entirely on my side though she will secretly root for you and drop things in my ear about taking you back.”

“She will come to my hotel suite to make sure I eat and exercise.” He said.

“Yeah.” CJ nodded. “I get Charlie.”

“I want Charlie.”

“So what?”

“We’ll flip for it.” Leo picked up a nickel from the nightstand. “It’s only fair.”

“Tell me why you think he would side with you.”

“I'm like his favorite Uncle. Moreover, you know how much he adores Jed. He will feel the need to take care of me since it will look as if everyone is taking care of you.”

“Hmm…that’s true. Alright, you can have Charlie but note that he will still come by to check on me.”

“From time to time.” Leo conceded.

“At least once a week.”

“OK, once a week. Zoey will only eye me with suspicion. She is her mother’s child.”

“That’s for sure. So, you don’t get any women.”

“I get Margaret.”

“You are dreaming pal.” CJ shook her head.

“What? She loves me.”

“Very much; she also knows you very well. She will side with me.”

“Why?” Leo asked.

“Because most likely whatever happened will be your fault. We formed a bond while I was Chief of Staff.”

“She worked for me for 23 years. I got that on my side.”

“You have that against you Leopold. I will not concede her.”

“Damn. Hey, maybe she will play a more Sam-like role.”

“That’s possible. She wouldn’t want to see either one of us unhappy.”

“You won’t be…you will be dating.” He bumped her shoulder.

“Who would I choose for my conquest?”

“A total rebound thing?”

“Of course. I am still missing you like crazy and pretending not to.”

“Does Nora know?” Leo asked.

“She is pressing me but I don’t give it up easily. So, who do I date?”

“Definitely not Danny Concannon. Oh, I got it…Larry.”

“Oh yeah. We run into each other, no, no, I will go to DC on business. I stop at GWU to say hello and invite him out to lunch.”

“He will probably tell Josh innocently enough and that will of course get back to me.”

“So you step up efforts to get me back.”

“This has gone beyond flowers and candy, huh?”

“You better believe it.”

They were laughing when 16-year-old Tim stuck his head into his parents’ room.

“Hey guys, I'm home.”

“What time is it?” Leo asked, looking at his watch.

“12:15.” Tim replied.

“How was the concert?” CJ asked.

“Awesome. What did you guys do tonight?”

“Watched movies, you know just hung out.”

“Sounds good. Well, goodnight. I love you.”

“Love you too sweetie.”

“Hey Tim.”

“Yeah dad?”

“Mom and I break up…who do you side with?”

CJ laughed as his son looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Another game of who gets the friends?” he asked.

“Just answer.”

“Can I be Swiss?”

“No.” they both said in unison.

“OK. I’ll move in with dad to help take care of him while Charlie and I secretly hatch a scheme to get you two back together. Is that good?”

“It means he’s siding with me.” Leo said.

“No it doesn’t. As usual, you misinterpret things. Goodnight darling.”

“Goodnight.”

“You’ve got more people on your side Claudia Jean.”

“Your number is respectable. Four or five good people are a decent showing. High score for getting Toby.”

“That is pretty good. So…let’s talk about my winning you back.”

“Anonymous love letters. They start showing up everywhere. Little gifts, nothing extravagant…mixed CDs. Maybe a bracelet or a stuffed animal.”

“I think,” Leo turned, taking her into his arms. “We should get right to making up.”

“Your rationale being?” CJ asked, tilting her head back to allow him access to her neck.

“We’re definitely going to have a lot of sex before you let me back into the house.”

“We’ll have an affair.” She said giggling.

“I love it. I love you Mrs. McGarry.”

“Mmm, I love you too.”

She pulled him down on the bed. Leo kissed her and she melted into his embrace.

“You win. You can have all the friends, except Jed and Toby. I just want you.”

“Always?”

“Forever; to the moon and back.”

“You're the sweetest thing Leopold.”

***


End file.
